Spinning Thoughts-- When Will It Stop??
Current mood: blank
Category: Life
May 5th 2009
You wake up every morning with what thought in your head?
Coffee? -- Shower? -- Is there gas in the car? -- Are the kids awake? -- What time is it? -- How much longer can I push off getting up? -- Is my job still gonna be there when I get up? -- How much is my pay check this week? -- Is there milk? -- Did I pay that bill?
Why should your first thought always be a worry? Why can't there be a day where you wake up and stretch, fell the long eight hours of sleep through your body and just be happy that your alive and well. Flex the muscles, blink, focus, breathe, find that happy moment.
Everyone has day to day things that have to be done. That is just a part of life. But it is what you do with that little extra that counts, whether is be love someone, hang out with your friends, family, your kids, even just time by yourself is the real reason we are here.
Lately I feel as if i have been walking around in a haze. It is the same ol.. everyday. Wake up, coffee, shower, find clothing, wake the kids, dress the kids, feed the kids, Brush teeth, grab the purse, lap top, cigs, diaper bag, one kid, the second kid, to the car, seat belt one, seat belt two, seat belt three--- breathe! Ten minute car ride, one off to day care, one to another day care, then silence.
That transitional time. The one where all your morning duties are done and you still have a good twenty minutes before you are due at work. Perfect. The windows get rolled down the CD player gets turned up, and your off. Wind blows in through the open windows, tunes float through the air leaving you completely relaxed for that twenty minutes before you know that the circle will start all over again.
Work: Open, paper work, customers, phone calls, load outs, blah blah blah, then its off to day care, one in the car, drive to the next, take the one out, walk up sign out the other, take both back to car, seat belt one, belt two, belt three, screaming, yelling, crying, finally at home. Toys everywhere, mash potatoes on the floor, rubbed in hair, dirty diaper, bath time, soap bubbles, towel, PJ's, half hour to get them to stay in bed and then--Silence! Sweet and utter silence!
My time... After 14 hours of their time, 14 hours of rushing just to keep your head above water, You get three hours to your self, unless you push sleep back. Three hours to relax, take that calming bath, feel the hot water and soap over your skin, that nice cold glass of wine tempting your lips, the book half started in front of you and candles that you only get to use maybe two nights out of the month are finally getting lit.
A cry--- A door creaks open, "Mommie" ...
The single life!
Do not take things for granted... For you never know how tomorrow will turn out. Rush is rush and I know better then anyone that some times you get lost in that everyday crap and you lose sight of the small things. No matter how tired, how cranky, how fed up I am I would never change my life. I will continue to work, to support my kids, I will fight this economy with both hands and I will spend every waking moment making sure my kids know that I love them both, and that they are the only thing that matters to me know matter how mad I can get sometimes.
When I wake up in the morning the first thought that enters my brain is:
How will my boys make me smile today!
Life!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Walk The Line
Do you ever find yourself on a wire? On the verge, wavering both left and right? Do you constantly re think and idea that you went with? Analyzing every word, every touch, every dream?
The human mind is built that way. You will second guess, even if its in the back of your mind, you will second guess yourself at least five times in one day. And that is the very least. Me, for instance, second guess myself more times that I can think. Even if I know, with in a shadow of a doubt, that I made the right choice, the right decision, I still will think it over and over. Even as I am laying down to sleep, I will wonder-- what if?
Stress runs though our veins even in the simplest decisions. I constantly want to be better-- well ever one wants to be better--- but I need to feel that I am doing the best that I can possible do. Whether it be in my personal life, work like, or social life.
There are some days where going home to lay in my soft bed sounds then best, and yet I will make there past midnight after the list of things I need to accomplish finally gets finished. Then I lie awake for at least an hour wondering if I rushed through my obligations, if maybe I spend just an ounce more of time, it would have been better.
But when is enough? When is it time for relaxation? When is it time to live for yourself and let the little things take care of themselves for a moment?
You have to step back from everyday life and take a nice deep look at how your living. Work isn't the only thing out there for you. the world is huge, time is endless but not measured in life. If you only had one year to live what would you do???
LIVE!!
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Life..
Life...
Think about yours and wonder--- how it could have been so different.
Where you are now. Sitting behind your computer... Coffee to your right and ash try to you left... Music playing in the back ground. Are you spoiled? Who out there does not have the liberties as we do? Electricity, heat, water, toilet paper, even chap stick.
Do we take things for granted?
Yes! No!
I would like to say thank you to the http://www.life.com/Life/ for posting images in print through out the world to show us just how it is out side of our warm little bubble!
Fate shows up in all different ways. By looking at this picture I have taken a road that I willing am happy to take. I am not longer sitting with my eyes held tightly shut. I, from now on-- eyes wide, and gazing upon my surroundings...
Follow or hide? Which is it for you???
Just the Start..
If you bare with me.. This is just the start of something new... It will take me awhile to learn this new site. But i promise to post as much as possible and bring you further into the light from where I base my life..
Stay with me.. Its just the start!!!
Fate!
Stay with me.. Its just the start!!!
Fate!
Perfect moments
"Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss you'll land among the stars."
Breath... Relax... Listen... Watch... Wait... Believe... Life is life... Fate is fate...
One more step, one more time...
Here I stand, here I wait.
There I go...
One-- Two-- Three--
Forever is where I land!!!
Bare feet "Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair." - Kahlil Gibran
Insanity "The definition of insanity is doing something the same way... while expecting a different result." - Albert Einstein
Walk with the wind against your back, and the sun upon you face! Feel the rain on a hot summer day and jump the puddles in front of you. Feel life in your grasp, don’t waist the moment in front of you. Take a full sprint ahead to your goal. Feel that rush of faith, of fate, of meaning, and fulfillment. Watch the eye of the storm whip through the town, and smile at the nature in front of you. Life is what you make it. Make it PERFECT!
Fall or Stand???
Fall down, or stand up??
Current mood: inspired
Category: Life
Life is life. There is always something standing before us that will try to stop us head on. But it is whether you let it or not that decides your fate. Do we fall down- crumble in defeat- or stand tall and push forward- wounds in the past and stride forward to a new path? Let regret be no such word in our vocabulary, and let the roads of life weave and bend around corners that will ultimately lead us to where we will become a better version or ourselves.
Let the wounds that we have, become distant, light pink scars that are only remembered by the information we have gathered that lead us to a new life. Let the past sit in the rear view mirror, and look ahead to life that awaits you. Do not spend the road you travel completely oblivious to the wonders of nature. Take in the aroma and learn. Be blessed for what you have acquired and the knowledge that seeps from it. Never regret the people you have meet, or the things that have happened between you. Let it be a memory that hold great strength and understand. For if we do not learn from what is before us, we will end as a withered old being- lost and broken- with a lifetime of nothingness behind us and in front. Breathe the fresh air, pick yourself up by those boot straps, take a strong drink, and push forward. Do not shed a tear for the past and do not give the pleasure of present pain to help an ego. Live for yourself. NO ONE ELSE!
Open your eyes:
How many times have you driven the same road and never saw the simple wonders that live around its harsh, yet smooth structure? If you take your foot off the gas and idle of a moment, you might see the rabbits run across the waves of golden desert or the hawk that caught his prey in his deep large talons over head. Notice the wind, and how it picks its moments to through the smell of sage around, and how the ice is just starting to melt over the lake after a long cold winter. Notice the road-- that it’s gray and black from the rain the night before, and how the sun glistens over it, creating a foggy steam that has slowed every one but you!
Life is not a race! Life is not out to push you down or win over you. Do not let a simple heart ach detour your life and your meaning. Wounds will heal, time will pass, and where will you be? Take the sun in, take that friendly hand of a friend--- learn and live-- move on and push forwards. Fate is like a live wire. Don’t run, don’t jump it. Embrace it!
Crumbled in defeat?
Standing tall, brushing off your shoulder and head to a new?
Where will you end??
Current mood: inspired
Category: Life
Life is life. There is always something standing before us that will try to stop us head on. But it is whether you let it or not that decides your fate. Do we fall down- crumble in defeat- or stand tall and push forward- wounds in the past and stride forward to a new path? Let regret be no such word in our vocabulary, and let the roads of life weave and bend around corners that will ultimately lead us to where we will become a better version or ourselves.
Let the wounds that we have, become distant, light pink scars that are only remembered by the information we have gathered that lead us to a new life. Let the past sit in the rear view mirror, and look ahead to life that awaits you. Do not spend the road you travel completely oblivious to the wonders of nature. Take in the aroma and learn. Be blessed for what you have acquired and the knowledge that seeps from it. Never regret the people you have meet, or the things that have happened between you. Let it be a memory that hold great strength and understand. For if we do not learn from what is before us, we will end as a withered old being- lost and broken- with a lifetime of nothingness behind us and in front. Breathe the fresh air, pick yourself up by those boot straps, take a strong drink, and push forward. Do not shed a tear for the past and do not give the pleasure of present pain to help an ego. Live for yourself. NO ONE ELSE!
Open your eyes:
How many times have you driven the same road and never saw the simple wonders that live around its harsh, yet smooth structure? If you take your foot off the gas and idle of a moment, you might see the rabbits run across the waves of golden desert or the hawk that caught his prey in his deep large talons over head. Notice the wind, and how it picks its moments to through the smell of sage around, and how the ice is just starting to melt over the lake after a long cold winter. Notice the road-- that it’s gray and black from the rain the night before, and how the sun glistens over it, creating a foggy steam that has slowed every one but you!
Life is not a race! Life is not out to push you down or win over you. Do not let a simple heart ach detour your life and your meaning. Wounds will heal, time will pass, and where will you be? Take the sun in, take that friendly hand of a friend--- learn and live-- move on and push forwards. Fate is like a live wire. Don’t run, don’t jump it. Embrace it!
Crumbled in defeat?
Standing tall, brushing off your shoulder and head to a new?
Where will you end??
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